I’ve always felt more comfortable in more traditionally masculine clothes. In high school, I’d wear these very dorky turtlenecks layered with long jackets; by grad school, I had found enough of a sense of style to move on to suits and bowties.
Because I wasn’t out yet, I always felt awkward if someone complimented me on them—like I owed them an excuse or an explanation for feeling comfortable in my own skin. (“Oh, you know, I’m a scientist, us nerds like our bowties.”)
Last year, I came out. About a week later, a coworker complimented me on my super spiffy button-down. I said “thank you. I was feeling very queer this morning.” No fumbling excuses. No unnecessary justifications.
Just me, being me, in public. It felt amazing.